Floral Tumblr Themes

And a series of bad puns later...

zenis:

wet dream: being financially secure with a career i enjoy

myindiangenocide:

how many chainz could 2 chainz chain if 2 chainz could chain chainz

illest:

Ladies, if you think your man is cheating. Take him to that bitches front door and see if his wifi connects.

mom: can you do me a favor?
me: will you pay me?
mom: why do i have to pay you to do me a favor?
me: Humankind cannot gain anything without first giving something in return. To obtain, something of equal value must be lost. That is Alchemy's First Law of Equivalent Exchange.

neptunain:

the arctic monkeys look like a 50s gang and im afraid they’re going to come out of the shadows one night and rhythmically snap their fingers at me

confidnet:

supersamurai91:

confidnet:

i wasted my last bagel my life is over

Just get some bread and cut out a circle

i have never been so offended in my entire life

bvsedjesus:

i want u wrapped in my arms…like a burrito…be my baerrito